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Ths is th part whr th end strts

dnt tll me yre dne fr

ALL THTS LEFT
TASHX



Hie, Im Tash. I've wasted my youth and I'm fixing it back slowly. And I don't regret what I am today. Because I don't copy and act like an exact replica of my friends. I have a life and I'm living it. I don't make friends and in the next two hours call you baby. Many of my 'Baby's have been through my ups and downs for at least 2 years. I don't give in to people w little or no originality. Fuck off.




lovex


I love you, Baby. Nothing can part us. Don't get me started on when you look me in the eyes. You were more than everything I expected. I expected selfish and uncanning, you showed me that men too are beautiful. I expected rude and self-centered, you taught me to love others as well. I expected you to expect perfection, you guided me while I learnt from my mistakes. You're everything that I really needed and you've been there for me through it all. I can't make it on my own, Love. I'm gna tll you I love you in the best way that I can. I promise to make every second count, I promise you, Love.



-
Smth soon.



-
Same goes.



listen to love.
designer: unconsciously,
guidance: darkdegree




Thursday, October 30, 2008
/ 10:14 PM

i know i haven't written enough on here lately for it to count as anything. im tired and drained. my body is falling apart. life's deadly. im stopping soon. i should i should i should. i miss my friends. my best fucking friends that just had an outing and i STILL havent had a chance to go and see them. talk about a douchebag of a friend i am. hopefully when my time comes they'll be there for me. i cant count on much of anyone else. i cant count on myself. because i dont understand a bit of who i am. im searching for someone to tell me who i am, knowing full well thats not how it works. i need art. my art that i've lost. i need to drown myself in the paint and ink and find myself. i've hurt too many people in the process of finding myself. broken more than one heart. told more than enough lies. working that out in my head and still trudging on becomes harder and harder. guilt is easy to ignore for me. i have no conscience. me, the narcissistic queen, always right. but either way. i didnt belong where i was. it was good of me to leave. being meant for bigger and better things doesnt always happen. to hardly anyone. its a tough life. and you get what you make. we'll be okay. we say that over and over to ourselves. we whisper it in the ears of the ones we love. not knowing whether its true or not. just hoping and praying that the difficulty eases for some time. but you would have never learned a damn thing from me if it had all been happiness and smiles. pain gives us our scars and teaches us our lessons. it reminds us of who we are and what we can withstand. remebering that what cannot kill us, it only makes us stronger. just because my flesh screams romanticism, it doesnt mean my mind speaks anything of the sort. it was dull long before you even thought it could happen. before you thought you had a chance. its not hard to get to know me. its just so hard to keep me interested. i feel im authistic. im many things. sweet. nice. adorable. sure. but im also pouty, jealous hearted, and obscene. if you see that. it means i've let you in. even if only a little. im falling in love. for real. it feels more intense than anything i've ever felt. im maturing in so many ways that hopefully ill be the woman i want to be for him. strong and beautiful. crazy and sad. but still myself. he makes me feel so beautiful. and im showered with love and affection. ive always pushed it away. the sickening sweet love and constant adoration. but now i feel like i can actually accept it. its no longer that cute type of affection. its honest and bold. frustrating and all mine. im so ready to start life and stop thinking and dreaming about it. you cant always be the friend. the good girl. you have to hurt feelings and love. its the only way. you either deal with it or deal without it. oh, i hope im doing the right thing this time.